Kuyini ukulutha kocansi?

Ukuxhomeka ngokocansi kuyinkinga enkulu. Akukho lutho oluhle kulo. Ngenxa yesizathu sakhe, abantu bahlala besesimweni esijabulisayo, abakwazi ukugxila ezintweni ezibalulekile, bavame ukuzithola bezimo eziphuthumayo.

Ukuxhomeka ngokocansi kuyindlela yokuziphatha ngokweqile ngokocansi, okungaqondakali ukusetshenziselwa ukufeza injabulo ethile yengqondo nenduduzo. Uma kungenjalo, lokhu kuxhomeka kubizwa ngokuthi ukulimala.

Ukubhebhetheka ngokocansi kuboniswa ukungakwazi ukulawula isifiso sabo sobulili, ukuphika imiphumela emibi yokuziphatha okubi, ukungalawulwa kwemigomo yokuphila nokunye okunye. Izifiso zobulili zivame ukwedlula isikhathi. Ukuyeka ukuhlala isikhathi eside kungabangela izimpawu zokuthi ukuhoxiswa.

Ukuxhomeka ngokocansi ngukuthi umuntu ovela esenzweni socansi athola yini into efanayo nomlutha wezidakamizwa kusuka kumthamo ovamile. Njengomthetho, izinzwa ezitholwa abantu abaxhomeke ocansini ngesikhathi socansi zinamandla kakhulu. Ngokuvamile lezi zizwa zizisiza ukuba zihlukanise nomhlaba wangaphandle, zinike ithuba lokuzizwa njengomunye umuntu, ukubulala ukwesaba, ukulangazelela nokunye. Isidingo salokhu ekugcineni siqina futhi sinamandla. I-"dose" evamile isivele ilula. Umuntu ogulayo angakwazi futhi ukuthi uyazethemba. Kodwa-ke, ezimweni eziningi kungenakwenzeka ukukhipha wena ngokwakho.

Ukuxhomeka ngokocansi kuvame ukubonakala kubantu, kodwa abesifazane bahlupheke kakhulu. Kwezinye izimo, ukulutha umlutha kuyisifiso sezinhlobo ezingavamile zobulili. Kungenziwa ukuhlotshaniswa nokushaya indlwabu, ukushada komzimba, ubudlova nokunye.

Kuyathakazelisa ukuphawula ukuthi ukwandisa ukuzethemba, izenzo zobulili ezingcolile zisetshenziswa abesifazane, hhayi amadoda. Ngaphansi kokucindezelwa kwabo, abesifazane bavame ukufihla ngokuqondile ukungakwazi ukuxhumana okuvamile , ukungavikeleki, izinkimbinkimbi njalonjalo. Ukuthembela kwengqondo kumuntu kubuye kubhekwe nakwabesifazane.

Abantu abancike ocansini nabo bavame ukungavikeleki. Ubulili bazuzisa bazama ukufakazela ukuthi kukhona okufanelekile kuleli zwe. Ngokungafani nabesifazane, bazama ukubeka konke ekubonisweni. Ngokuvamile, zonke izindaba zabo zizinikele kuphela ekunqobeni kocansi. Amadoda anjalo ngokuvamile esaba ukushiywa. Kubonakala kubo ukuthi inhliziyo ephukile yinto esabekayo kakhulu engaba khona. Ngesikhathi sezinkondlo eziphuthumayo, zidlala indima yazo eyakhelwe. Baphuma emiphakathini yabo futhi babonise isimo sabo. Isizathu salokhu kungenzeka kube indaba engathandeki yothando. Qaphela ukuthi amadoda anjalo angadida uthando ngesikhangiso socansi. Bacabanga ukuthi uma befuna, bayakuthanda.

I-Psychoanalysts ikholelwa ukuthi ukuxhaswa ngokocansi kungumphumela wokukhathazeka njalo nokukhathazeka njalo. Sekuyisikhathi eside kusungulwe ukuthi ukukhathazeka, okungekho umuntu angakwazi ukukuqeda, kubonakala ngokwakho ngenxa yokukhathazeka kwengane engokwengqondo okwenzekile ngezizathu zocansi.

Izifiso zobulili zingaba namandla kangangokuthi umuntu unqika ukucabanga ngemicabango engavamile ehluphayo. Ukuxhomeka ngokocansi kumenza asebenze, ahambe, afune okuthile. Ekuqaleni, isiguli, kusobala, kungase kubonakale sengathi konke kuhle, njengoba imizwa evamile emibi iphela. Izinkinga ziqala lapho umuntu eyeka ukuzilawula yena kanye nokulutha kwakhe ngokocansi.

Isazi sengqondo sokusebenza kufanele siphathwe. Ukusekela izihlobo nabangane ngenkathi yokwelashwa kuvele kungenakwenzeka. Ukuxhomeka ngokocansi kungase kuphele, kodwa kuvele ngokushesha. Njengomthetho, ukubukeka kwayo kuhlale kubangelwa ubunzima bokuphila nezinye izinkinga.