Amantombazane atholakalaphi? Ngingayithola kuphi intombazane enhle? Ungayitholaphi intombazane yamaphupho akho?

Abaningi bathi amantombazane anzima kakhulu ekuphileni kwabo; Yeka ukuthi kunzima ngabo ukuthola indoda yangempela, indoda ejwayelekile, ongathanda, ukunakekela, ukuhlinzeka, nokwenza ezinye izinto eziningi. Eqinisweni, abesifazanekazi abathandekayo, ukusho ukuthi kulula kakhulu kubafana ukuthola umlingani womphefumulo akulungile. Ungaphi lapho intombazane evamile? Lo mbuzo ubuye usebenza kahle. Ezweni lanamuhla, lapho wonke umuntu kusho okuthile okuhlukile ngaphansi kobudlelwano, kunzima ukuthola umuntu eduze nemibono yomuntu.

"Umfana omuhle ufuna intombazane"

Yilezi zingaki izikhangiso ezishiywe kwi-inthanethi, kumakamelo ahlukene okuxoxa namanye amasevisi wokuphola aqala. Emibikweni enjalo, kuyamangaza ukuthi umfana "ulungile", futhi akanalo intombi. Kulesi simo, abesifazane abancane, njengombuso, bafuna nje okuhle. Okufanayo, okuyinto, njengoba kuvela, ngokwabo kusesho olusebenzayo. Lokhu kuvela esimweni esingaqondakali, lapho abafunayo bengakabi khona futhi bazama ukuthola ikusasa labo ngokwabo. Yiqiniso, akubona bonke abantu abaqonda ukuthi inkinga ingaba kanjani umbuzo othi "kuphi ukuthola intombazane efanele?". Kukhona isigaba samadoda amasha abajwayele abantu bobulili obuhlukile ngenxa yesizathu esilula ukuthi abanalo izithiyo zangaphakathi, ukuvimbela nokwesaba ukukhuluma nentombazane; Noma ngabe abesifazane ngokwabo babonisa isithakazelo kubafana abanjalo (ngenxa yokuheha kwabo, isibonelo). Kodwa-ke, uma ungumfana futhi ungenalo ubuhle obungavamile, futhi ukuthola intombazane kuwe kuwumsebenzi wangempela, izincomo eziningi ezibekwe kulesi sihloko zizokusiza.

Amantombazane atholaphi abanye?

Uma ungumfana omuhle ovela esikhangisweni futhi ungenayo intombazane, okokuqala kufanele ucabange: "Futhi abanye bashadile bazi kanjani?". Mayelana nawe udinga ukukhumbula wonke amacala awaziwayo uma abangane bakho bethola umphefumulo wabo womshado, bese ubahlaziya ukuze baqonde ukuthi kungani futhi kwenzekani. Uyomangala, kodwa imibhangqwana eminingi yenziwa ngokuqondile phakathi kwabantu abajwayele. Isibonelo, kungaba izingane ezifunda nabo, izingane ezifunda nabo noma ozakwabo abathi emva kwezinsuku ezimbalwa, izinyanga noma iminyaka yokuthandana, ngokungazelelwe badonselana. Cishe, babe nohlobo oluthile lokuzwelana, baqala ukukhuluma ngokucophelela, emva kwalokho imihlangano yaqala. Ngokushesha imihlangano yakhula yaba ubudlelwane.

Yiqiniso, kunezinye izimo. Isibonelo, amantombazane ahlangana emgwaqeni, azijwayele esitimeleni, emtatsheni welabhulali, emaqenjini (nakuba lokhu kusebenza kulabo bantu abafisa umbuzo othi "kuphi lapho ungathola khona intombazane ubusuku?") Futhi kwezinye izindawo eziningi ezivela ekuphileni kwethu kwansuku zonke. Iningi lemihlangano luhlobo lwezinto ezijabulisayo ezingahleliwe, nakuba kunjalo, ngisho nakwabo kunezidingo ezithile.

Ubudlelwano nentombazane evela kumbuthano wezihlobo noma owaziwayo "kusukela ekuqaleni"?

Unganika izimpikiswano eziningi mayelana nokuthi yini engcono kakhulu - ukujwayelana nomuntu emgwaqweni, emtatsheni wezincwadi noma kwenye indawo, noma ukuthuthukisa ubudlelwane nentombazane esevele ejwayele. Ake sizame ukwakha inqwaba yezinzuzo nezindleko. Ngakho-ke, impela "inkambiso yabangane" ingcono kakhulu kulabo abazi lapho ungathola khona intombazane oyintandokazi nokuthi yini okudingeka uyenze ngalokhu. Umuntu uvele nje aqale ukuxhumana eduze nalowo athanda kakhulu, futhi njengoba lokhu kukhulumisana kuqhubeka, uzoqonda imizwa yentombazane mayelana naye. Lokhu kulula, ngoba kubafana abaningi lolu khetho lunqanda ukuphola "okubuhlungu" kakhulu. Ngakolunye uhlangothi, lapho uhlangane nomuntu "emgwaqweni" (ukukhuluma ngokushelelayo), ungahlukanisa umbuthano wokukhulumisana kwakho futhi uthole umngane omuhle noma othandekayo. Ngemuva kwalokho, kungenzeka ukuthi kusukela kumbuthano wabajwayele akekho ongazibiza indima enjalo. Khona-ke enye ingxoxo yokuhlangana nomngane yilawo owazi intombazane, futhi uyakwazi. Lokhu kungcono ngoba ubonane ngezimo ezihlukene, ngakho-ke ungaqiniseka ngokwengeziwe ekuqineni kokuziphatha kwakhe namagama. Lokhu, futhi, kuyinzuzo ecacile phezu "komhlangano kusuka ekuqaleni." Kulokhu, lezi zindlela ziyimfihlo, ngoba umuntu kulula ukwenza ubuhlobo nomuntu ongaziwayo, futhi omunye-ngokuphambene nalokho, qala ukuphola nomngani.

Kuthiwani uma "konke kubi"?

Uma ungenelisekile nganoma iyiphi yezinketho ezingenhla, futhi usazi ukuthi ungatholaphi intombazane elula ongaqala ukuphola naye, iseluleko esihle kunazo zonke ukuzihlunga. Cabanga ukuthi ngabe uzicabange yini ngandlela-thile ukukhangisa noma ukukhathazeka kakhulu futhi kungathandeki kumantombazane kunabanye? Cabanga ngezinkimbinkimbi zakho. Into ethi abantu abaningi abahle banenkinga yokuzihlonipha. Bakholelwa ukuthi amantombazane amahle ngeke afune ukuhlangana nokuxhumana nabo, ngakho-ke besaba ukukhuluma kuqala. Yiqiniso, kungase kube nokukhetha ukuthi la madoda ayenemizamo engaphumelelanga ngaphambili, ngemuva kwalokho anquma "ukubuyela" okwesikhashana futhi azibophe phansi. Lesi simo asibi kakhulu. Uma futhi ungazi ukuthi ungatholaphi amantombazane futhi ingxenye ethile wazibonela, iseluleko esilandelayo ngukuthi: shintsha! Futhi kufanele kwenziwe kanjani kuwe. Isibonelo, uma uzizwa ungathandeki kwabanye abafana, sekuyisikhathi sokubhalisa ku-gym. Uma uvinjelwa ukuziphendulela nokwehlazo - yiya ezifundweni zokukhuluma noma ukuzithuthukisa. Zizinakekele, futhi, kholwa mina, umphumela ngeke uthathe isikhathi eside ukulinda! Into esemqoka ukufuna futhi uhlale ukhumbule ukuthi konke okukulo mpilo kungashintshwa!

Ngingaziphi lapho ngintombazane?

Uma kwenzeka uqonde ukuthi ungayitholaphi intombazane futhi ufuna ukuzama ukuhlangana nomuntu, ngaphandle kokuthola ulwazi emihlanganweni enjalo, kudingeka ucabange kahle ukuthi ungathanda ukukhuluma ngani nentombazane, ukuthi ufuna ukukhuluma naye kanjani , Gxila ukunakwa nokunye okunye. Yiqiniso, njengoba wazi zonke izinhlelo zakho cishe zizoguqulwa, ngakho-ke zilungele. Kodwa ukudala - lokhu kuyisinyathelo esihle kakhulu, esivumela abaningi ukuba balahle injabulo kanye nokuhlangenwe nakho okungadingekile. Ngaphezu kwalokho, ngaleyo "midwebo" ekhanda lakho, awusoze waphuma ngezihloko zengxoxo, okubalulekile futhi. Uma usulungile, ungazama ukuhlangana nomuntu. Kodwa-ke, ngisho noma wazi lapho ungathola khona intombazane eMoscow, ungakhohlwa isikhathi esilandelayo. Okokuqala, udinga ukwazi kahle ukuthi yini ofuna ukuyihlangabeza, ikhululekile futhi ingakwazi ukuxhumana manje, futhi okwesibili, awukwazi ukugijimela kuwo futhi ube nokuzama ukuqala ukuxhumana. Konke kufanele kubheke ngokwemvelo, ngokwesibonelo, kusuka kumbono ophonswe ngengozi noma abanye ukuphawula ngento ethile.

Siyaqhubeka sazi kahle

Ngokusobala, owaziyo ngamunye kufanele aqhubekwe kahle. Ngenxa yalokhu, into esemqoka ukushiya umbono omuhle futhi, ngokuqinisekile, uxhumana naye wangempela ngendlela yokushintshanisa inombolo yocingo noma ezinye izindlela zokuxhumana. Isibonelo, uma uhlala ekamelweni elilodwa, ungathola lapho (manje) wakho (kakade) esevele ejwayele futhi ngandlela-thile efika kumvakashele. Lokhu kubalulekile, ngoba uvumela omunye nomunye ukuba aqonde ukuthi unesithakazelo ekukhulumisaneni okuqhubekayo, imihlangano elandelayo, ngakho-ke, ukuthuthukiswa kobudlelwano nakwezinye izinga. Yiqiniso, lokhu kungase kungabi yizinga leveli, kodwa okungenani njengabangani bokuxhumana uzoqala. Njengoba uhlangabezane ngempumelelo ngaleyo ndlela okungenani oyedwa omele ubulili obuthakathaka, uzobe usuvele wazi ukuthi ungatholaphi intombazane enhle, futhi uthole ulwazi lokuxhumana.

Idethi yokuqala

Izinsuku zokuqala ziyisihloko esikhethekile sokucabanga ukuthi ungatholaphi intombazane enhle. Yebo, konke kuxhomeke ukuthi yini ngempela (njengendodana) olindela ebuhlotsheni nokuthi yini intombazane ezobe ilungele. Ngaphambi kokuba uqale ukuthandana, cabanga ngelanga lakho elihle. Kunconywa ukuyihlakaza kuyo yonke imininingwane ukuze uqonde ukuthi yini oyifunayo. Emva kwalokho ungaqiniseka: unomgomo. Kungenxa yokuthi wena kanye nentombazane yakho entsha uzohlangana kanjani. Futhi, naphezu kokuthi kuzodlulela, cishe kungenzeka, kungenjalo, uzoqonda ukuthi kungani unalo lobu buhlobo nalokho obona umlingani wakho womphefumulo. Kuye ngokuthi umbono wakhe uhlukile kanjani ngalokhu, uzoqonda ukuthi ufana kangakanani.

Ukungavumelani ebuhlotsheni

Uma usenesithakazelo embuzweni wokuthi amantombazane atholaphi abanye abantu, awucabangi ngezimpikiswano ezingase ziphakame phakathi kwakho. Kodwa-ke, ngokushesha nje lapho uqala ukuhlangana, lapho isikhathi esithile sidlula (konke kuxhomeke kubalingiswa bakho), ukungavumelani kungenakugwemeka, okungahle kube yizingxabano. Nakuba, njengoba sekuphawuliwe, esigabeni 'samaphupho' ngalokhu akekho, njengombuso, akacabangi, futhi lokhu kuvamile. Uma kukhona ukuxabana phakathi kwakho - ungadikibali. Qonda ukuthi lena inqubo evamile. Qinisekisa ukuthi izizathu zokule mpikiswano zizovela ngokushesha maduze, futhi ubuhlobo buzohlala. Ngaphezu kwalokho, ngokuhamba kwesikhathi bayokhula beqine futhi bathuthuke, badlulele ezingeni elisha. Umsebenzi wakho ukujabulela lokhu ngokuthandana.

Izinhloso amadoda azibeka

Kuzo zonke izici, bobabili abalingani babeke imigomo ethile. Yiqiniso, akuzona zonke ongazenza, kodwa endaweni ethile ezingeni eliphansi, uma umbuzo ubuzwa: "Uphi lapho ungathola khona intombazane evamile?" - Umuntu uyazi ukuthi yilokho "okujwayelekile" okuyoba khona nokuthi yini ayilindele kuye. Kwabesilisa, njengamanje, njengabesifazane, kunezinhloso eziningi, futhi zichazwe ngamunye esimweni ngasinye. Kodwa-ke, ethandwa kakhulu phakathi kwabameleli besigamu esiphezulu sabantu kukhona imigomo yomhlaba wonke (ukuhlangabezana, ukuhlala nokushada), ukungathí sina okungenani (ukuhlangabezana nesikhathi esithile) futhi ngokujwayelekile isikhathi esifushane (intombazane ebusuku). Yiqiniso, ukukhishwa okunjalo kuyingozi kakhulu, futhi akunakwenzeka ukuba bonke abafana "bavumelane" nalezi zigaba. Ngaphezu kwalokho, ngokuvamile amadoda azi ukuthi yiliphi iqembu abazibiza ngalo, eqala ubuhlobo obusha. Nokho, incazelo yalesi sigaba icacile.

Izinhloso abesifazane ababeka kuzo

Amantombazane afuna abafana ahlukaniswe waba ngabahlolisayo abathandanayo (njengabafana abafuna ukuhlangana emshadweni), abangathí sina (ngaleso sikhathi) nabangenangqondo (ngesikhathi). Kodwa-ke, kunombono wokuthi abesifazane abancane bathambekele ngokuningiliziwe ngomfanekiso womuntu wamaphupho akhe. Ngakho-ke, kukholelwa ukuthi abesifazane bafuna umvikeli, umthengisi, uyise wezingane njalonjalo. Kungenzeka, futhi kumadoda, ungasho into efanayo, kodwa, mhlawumbe, indlela yokubamba kwayo engaphansi "ihlanganiswe ngaphandle." Enye yezinkinga eziyinhloko ukubonakala, ke ingqondo, umlingiswa. Lawa wonke amadoda ayazisa lapho ebuza ukuthi ungayitholaphi intombazane. Kwabesifazane, akuyona nje ubuhle, ingqondo nomlingiswa womuntu, kodwa nesimo sakhe, ubuhle, umqondo wokuhlekisa nokunye. Nakuba kunjalo, futhi lokhu kungaboniswa, uma sicacisa isibonelo samadoda (abizwa ngokuthi i-gigolos) abazibuza ukuthi bangayitholaphi intombazane enothileyo nabazali abacebile (ngabe beyixhase okhethiweyo wakhe).

Thola ulwazi othandweni nobuhlobo

Abanye abafana abasazi ukuthi bafumanaphi amantombazane ngezinye izikhathi baqala ukucabanga ukuthi bazokwazi yini ukuziphatha kahle ebuhlotsheni babo, ngabe bazokwazi yini ukuphila ngokuvumelana nokulindelwe kwentombazane yabo njalo njalo. Mayelana nalokhu, ngingathanda nokuphawula ukuthi akukho okumele ukwesabe. Konke okuhlangenwe nakho okwenziwe ngumuntu kuye kwaqoqwa ngokwenza. Lokhu kuyiqiniso ikakhulukazi kokuhlangenwe nakho ezindabeni zothando, lapho yonke into ihlala yedwa futhi inganiki iseluleko esithile. Ngakho-ke, madoda abathandayo, ungakhathazeki - uzophumelela, futhi kuyoba kuhle, ngoba abaningi bayadlula kuwo.

Sinqoba ubunzima ngokumomotheka!

Uma usuvele usutholile umlingani wakho - ujabule! Uma ungasazi ukuthi ungayitholaphi intombazane enhle, ungaphelelwa ithemba! Uzophumelela ngempela, ngoba kunamantombazane amaningi amancane angakuthanda ngokuqinisekile, azi kangcono. Ngakho-ke ungayeki ukubuka, okungukuthi, uthuthukise ngokwakho, ube ngcono, unomusa, ukhanyise futhi uhle kakhulu - futhi wonke umhlaba uzofinyelela kuwe! Futhi ungakhohlwa ngokumamatheka - isisekelo esiyinhloko empumelelweni kuleli zwe.